i hate drugs, bondage, and hans
by the pain of loss
Summary: hansoff. first one. i love therookiecookie. yaoi, bondage, rape, yaoi, hans, kristoff, yaoi. YAOI WARNING! YAOI WARNING! hopefully this will be hardcore. i feel like my yaoi scenes aren't hard at all. rated m for a reason guys. yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is my first time writing a Hansoff fic. I haven't updated ANYTHING SINCE FOREVER so I'm going to give you this so that you don't kill me for not updating anything! If you don't know what Hansoff is, it's Hans and Kristoff from the movie Frozen. I based this off of a picture I saw by TheRookieCookie. Just look up 'hans and kristoff' on the Google search engine. Enjoy.

Kristoff's POV

_Ugh... what the fuck…_

I opened my eyes to a dark room. My head was spinning as I tried to move. On top of the dizziness, I noticed something. My whole body tied and chained to a wall.

_The fuck is going on?_

My mouth is gagged as well. Shit.

Struggling to free myself, I didn't even notice a door open and close. However, I did notice when a hand touched my abdomen. It was warm yet firm. It was a man's hand; man's hand that slowly trailed up. My noticing skills are shit. How the hell did I not notice that the only thing on me is my hat and underwear? Well, other than the clothe bonds surrounding me.

The hand caressed a nipple and I gasped into my gag. My struggles strengthened as the hand continued to toy with my nub. It felt oddly good. I was aroused. Think damnit! What the hell is happening?

Clue #1: dizzy, foggy mind.

Clue #2: aroused.

Clue #3: sensitiveness to The Hand.

…

…

… Shit.

I've been drugged.

Suddenly, another hand grabbed my crotch harshly and squeezed. I couldn't stop myself, I whimpered.

The treatment continued, and I'll admit, if it weren't for the bonds, I wouldn't be standing.

A hot, wet appendage licked up my throat to my ear and sucked on the lobe.

"Mmhh…"

The soft sounds I made were muffled by the gag. I was doing my best to get out of the situation while struggling to fend off the sensations that were growing closer to swallowing me up. Not easily done. I was fighting a losing battle.

Every single part of my body was on fire as I felt heat pooling in my stomach. I can't control my voice anymore.

"Mhh… Mmf… Mmm! MMm!"

I could tell I was getting closer. My breathing was steadily harder and harder to use. It felt good, too good!

The hand removed the gag and I had a second to breath before a pair of lips captured mine.

"MMM!"

I screamed into the mouth as something inside me exploded.

The lips released me and I panted heavily. At least I could breath. A soft whisper touched my ears.

"Did you like that?"

In vain I tried to look at the face that belonged to those hands and lips. I was too exhausted to say anything. My head fell back onto my chest.

"Good."

A smirk kissed my lips again. Damnit, I still haven't caught my breath. One of those hands tip toed down my torso. I shuddered as it played with the hem of the only thing keeping me from being naked. Other than my hat of course. Again, my noticing skills suck. When did my briefs get all wet?! The hand danced there a moment before slowly dragging my briefs down, down, down until they dropped to the floor.

I shook my head and broke free of the lips.

"S-stop…"

A quick peck on my forehead.

"No."

Then the hand grabbed my cock and started the treatment again. But this time, I could use my voice and there was nothing stopping the skin-on-skin feeling.

"Ngh! N-no! Aah!"

A range of gasps and other noises left my lips. If the first treatment felt good, then what was I supposed to use to describe this?!

The lips kissed and sucked their way down to my chest, more specifically my hardened nipples.

My body was shaking and the heat was pooling there again, faster than the last time, just like that hand.

Faster and faster it stroked and pulled me.

"Aah! Aah! No!"

The lips left my chest long enough to whisper," Yes."

I screamed again as I came into his hand.

The hand left.

"That was fast. Is this your first time?"

I prayed to any god that would listen for him to not see my blush as I averted my eyes to look at nothing. Somehow, he could tell.

"Excellent."

He began kissing down my torso. I could already guess what he was going to do.

"No *pant* more… please."

"Aw, but we haven't even gotten to the best part~!"

"Please…"

I trailed off softly to return to my panting. He paused for a moment and stood back up. He kissed me gently before saying," How about this. Since this is your first time, we do it on a bed instead? Going to it will give you a little rest before we start again, ok?"

Not what I was going for, but ok. I nod.

"Perfect."

I can practically hear the smile in his voice. As he unstraps me from the wall, I think of a plan to escape, but then a new thought reaches my shitty attention: why is his voice so familiar?

Lost in thought, I only notice the bed until it's beneath me. Again, why don't I ever notice things?!

My arms are tied to what I assume is the headboard and those lips are trailing down my body. I've caught my breath. And he is ready to start again whether I like it or not.

I'll end chapter 1 here. If you have noticed that Kristoff isn't acting like his normal self, you are right. I LOVE the uke being cute and tiny and innocent and very confused about everything. So in the movie, Kristoff is big and tough. Now he isn't. Without his clothes he is smaller and little. Hans is bigger and Kristoff's nose is smaller. Bye.


	2. bonus chapter

Someone was having trouble finding the picture so I will be more specific: TheRookieCookie on deviantart titled "Requested Hans and Kristoff." Just so you know. I haven't updated in forever so this is just a bonus chapter. Basically it's about Hans' discovery of Kristoff, the way his messed up mind thinks they met. He really met Kristoff the way the movie said but this is how he remembers it. Here it is.

Damn, Anna is a crazy bitch. First her sister is a bitchy witch, then she has to "save her" and now she is just damn crazy! How can a kiss reverse ice? It makes no sense! Whatever. But thank God this sexy, hot guy came to get her to the crazy house.

Snowmen don't talk and giant marshmallows are just another reason why I only eat chocolate.

Mmmm chocolate. I'd eat chocolate off of him any day.

Oh shit! He's coming over here!

_(They are currently on the boat that is taking Hans back to the Southern Isles. Kristoff is merely about to beat the shit out of Hans for what he did.) _

"Hello there, how may I be off service to you?"

He is so cute when he looks taken aback!

"You can… um…"

So HAWT! I want him in my love bed!

"You can suck my dick."

_(Hans is merely hearing what he wants to. In reality, Kristoff said you are such a dick.)_

Well this is taking a turn for the better," Gladly."

Damn he is so sexy when he gets all red like that!

"You are such a love machine." _(You are such a loveless monster.)_

Ooohh~ "That I am, that I am."

"I like your ass, you hot devil." _(I hate your ass, you fucking demon.)_

I'm getting some tonight! "Perfect, I am glad we are in agreement."

"Excuse me sir, we are about to leave."

AWW~ what a kawaii smile! "Thanks, I'll be off in a moment."

As things are going so well, it's time to get my crew into action. My crew is only loyal to me. We are actually pirates and going to our hide-out. Screw the Southern Isles! I got what I wanted, let's head out!

As I grab Kristoff's ankle I yell," LET"S GO!"

Immediately the ship leaves the port. Someone knocks Kristoff out and unlocks the door to my cell. Just as planned! On my request, some crew members carry him to my personal chambers and I prepare for my intimate night with my sexy ice harvester.

Ok so Hans really is a pirate in this just in case you were wondering. Hans is seriously messed up in the head. All he wanted out of this was a hawt sex goddess/god. Arendelle was just a bonus. I thought this would be fun so have a few laughs for me ok? Ok, sounds like a plan. See you next time!


End file.
